Am I the only person in this household that can figure out how to make an alternative to a straw?

The man comes in and tears the house apart looking for something, drawers opened, drawers shut after rooting around in them. Cupboards same story.  I’m listening to this search, trying my damndest not to be my mom asking what are you looking for.  A straw.  Like we would have such a thing in the house lest the PC Police arrive and shame us to death for possessing one.

What do you need a straw for I finally ask.  To get gas into the lawn mower, of course, who knew.  Well not a straw to be found of course so how about sacrificing one of these cheap pens, like you steal from the motels, take it apart and use the barrel as a straw.

After enduring the What The Hell Are You Talking About look, I explained. Find one of those cheap pens, take it apart and use the barrel like a straw. Eventually the light came on and I hear the lawn mower.